I have tried to paint my soul
With layers and layers of lies
Layers of charm, sweetness
Serenity, bliss, peacefulness
And everything else that I found
Along the way over the years
So that when someone sees me
They see a woman so complete
With a smile gracing her lips
Her eyes twinkling with joy
Speaking sweet words of wisdom
Walking with energy, so full of life
But I know that woman is not me
The real me is wounded and damaged
Shedding tears of blood and grief
Utterly lonely, no friend, no family to speak
Dying and decomposing with each passing second
The inverse of what I painted myself to be
But the layers have begun to crack
With the painful emotions seeping out of it
All efforts to seal them up, proving in vain
Glimpses of my damaged self, showing its face
Confusion, panic, fear all running out loose
Worried that my damaged self, people will see
But am too weary to pretend further
With my mind and heart, no longer in accord
Dreading to see, how much more disfigured, I turned out to be
After all these years since I last had my look
Its time for all these layers to fall, what is there to lose?
Since I possess nothing that is actually mine.
Todays best new poem was written by Delphine Irudayam.
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